Last night’s episode of New Girl gave us some action between Jess and Mr. Fancyman, and glimpses of the future for Winston and Shelby and where things may be headed for Schmidt and CeCe. Even Nick got some. So let’s dig in!
The episode started with Jess going into the bathroom to find a man using the urinal. Winnie the Pooh style aka no pants, just a shirt. He turns out to be the smartest guy Nick knows: Dirk. When Jess goes to complain, she does that and more when asked about her date with Russell. You see, it had a really awkward moment. It wasn’t Jess talking about how normally her dates just try to go for the gold, or that he didn’t kiss her. He patted her on the back. But it was a good pat. None of the guys want to give Jess advice so she turns to CeCe. When CeCe walks through the door, Dirk hits on her within .3 seconds. Can’t say that I blame him. But CeCe tells him she’s seeing someone and that she’s the boss in the relationship, causing Schmidt, unknowingly to everyone else, to get the nick name of her sexcretary.
Minutes later CeCe is in Schmidt’s room saying they have 20 minutes, but Schmidt tells her he has real work for his real boss. He’s quitting. So CeCe pulls out Harold and Kumar aka her left and right boob, and makes Schmidt tell them the news: there will be no trip to white castle today. Later on, CeCe shows up in an attempt to seduce Schmidt, a task she’s never had to do before. If for some reason you didn’t believe her, it’s proven when she showed up in business attire from a lost and found and looking like Schmidt’s aunt Frida from Seder. To make up for it, she promises she’ll do whatever he wants — even fantasy position numero tres. Which happens to be his car.
We find this out thanks to Winston. You see, Shelby is headed to Mexico for a bachelorette party and Winston thinks it will be good for them to have some space. Clearly not a good thing to say to a girl, let alone one traveling with multiple penis shaped items for the party. He realizes this thanks to Dirk telling him that giving someone space, gives them room to have sex with other people. See, smartest guy ever.
So, Winston takes Schmidt’s car a.k.a the Manbulance and drives to Mexico to tell Shelby that he doesn’t want space. In fact, he wants them to breathe the same air. While driving, and listening to the Wicked soundtrack, Shelby calls him back tells him that she feels the same and is at his apartment. Oh, and they admit they love each other. As he’s crossing back into the U.S., the border patrol checks the car for smuggled humans, and what we find is fantasy location number 3 with it’s members still naked. Now, not only does Winston know, but CeCe’s stuck-in-the-trunk-declaration that she didn’t want anybody to know because she likes sleeping with him and doesn’t want to ruin it, is kind of out the window. Luckily, they have some blackmail: Winston was listening to the Wicked soundtrack after all.
While all this is going on Nick is having an after party for college kids after attending Dirk’s lecture. He realizes that 20 year old girls think he’s cool and ends up hooking up with one of them. He realizes he’s their Fancyman. Speaking of Fancyman a.k.a Russell, Jess asked him out on yet another date, and after bringing up The Beatles and his prostate, Russell leaves her some cash after receiving a text and bounces. So, Jess returns home to the cast of The Social Network in her apartment and goes on a rant about how 30 sucks and she’ll be alone forever, and then starts kicking ass in flip cup.
Cue Russell showing up at the party to explain himself and Jess’ response is simply that she wants a donut. So, to buy a donut they go, along with Dirk, Nick and two of the youngin’s. Halfway through the ride Nick decides he has to puke and falls out of the car while trying to do so. This gives Jess and Russell a moment, if not quite a romantic one with Nick dry heaving and gagging in the distance, for them to finally kiss.