Last night’s episode of ‘New Girl’ showed us just how important it is to not mess with the ecosystem that is Jess, Nick, Winston, and Schmidt’s apartment. There’s a certain level of control that needs to be maintained, and if it’s messed with there can be serious consequences. Like say, a slap fight and Schmidt in his fat suit. Yep, so let’s dig in!
While CeCe and Schmidt were continuing their secret rendezvous, CeCe dropped him far away from the apartment causing Schmidt to freak out for a number of reasons. A person who was clearly “new homeless” was outside the car. He was wearing his slippery loafers. And most importantly, he realized he has no control in their situation.
The loss of control continued when Jess brought back a hutch she found outside. This is clearly not acceptable seeing as ‘Pine has no place in this loft, it’s the wood of poor people and outhouses.’ Word. In any event, Jess took this as a challenge to try and make Schmidt let lose a little bit. An idea that was immediately shot down by Nick and Winston. Cue the flashback of what the apartment looked like back in Schmidt’s fat days. Where heads of lettuce were thrown and there were no rules. Yes, they were crazy times. Choosing to ignore their warning she brought all sorts of thrown away things into the apartment giving Schmidt emotional nausea. If that wasn’t enough she then brought him to Venice Beach boardwalk.
At first Schmidt was having no part of it. He did ride a bike with napkins after all. But eventually he caved giving us shirtless bongo playing and the consuming of ‘street meat.’ So, with Schmidt MIA the apartment turned to shambles and Jess was on a mission to get him back and restore order in the ecosystem. You were warned, Jess, you were warned.
Also on a mission was Winston trying to get Nick to pay back all the money he owes ‘em. A debt furthered by the night prior’s poker game. Why they took him seriously when he called UNO Bitches after going all in is beyond me. In an effort to compromise, Winston said Nick could owe him a clean 200 bucks and call it even. Considering Nick had it written in sharpie on his belly that he owed at least twice that from just the night before, it seemed like a perfectly fair trade. But Nick wasn’t having it. Cut to them slap fighting in the food store over the money and a few comments at Nick’s mom’s expense. Where is Schmidt when you need ‘em? Oh that’s right playing bongos in the park.
When Schmidt finally returned, the gang staged what you could only call an intervention. Jess explained that she only wanted to feel like the place was hers too hence the hutch. Nick told her she was already a part of the family, even though he didn’t know why she’d want to be. Aw. Oops. We also learned there’s no ‘aw-ing’ in the fam.
While trying to bring Schmidt back from the dark side, Nick gave Schmidt the chance to clean the ‘white whale.’ Quite a name for a bedroom, no? Winston took a more direct approach saying that he’s what makes them a family. Aw! Shoot, I keep forgetting! Jess tried to buy him back with a pair of Calvin Klein trousers. He did used to dress like Shia Labeouf in Wall Street 2 after all. In the end it’s the pants the magnificent wizard that is CK that wins him over and the next day they all awake to Schmidt cleaning. He’s back!
Do you guys feel like Jess is officially part of the family? Are Schmidt and CeCe ever going to come clean?